Hedley Hopper, Political Gossip Columnist and Fashion Editor wrote
at 2:37:39 PM on Friday, June 9, 2017
Hi Dear Readers, Apologies for the delay in reporting what was it was an interesting General Election (and Claremont By Election) Count Night at the AJ Bell Stadium!! I’ve only just got up…well, at my age, I need PLENTY of beauty sleep!! What did I notice and jot down in my diary of fashion and political faux passes? Here we go!! Too many “size-challenged” persons in tight fitting clothes showing VPLs, and excess hair-product and beards – and that wasn’t just the women! Too many earnest, passionate kids trying to be clever making rude remarks to experienced political opponents. (Overheard put-down [Loved it!!]: “My little finger nail has more political experience and knowledge than you have in your whole body. When your voice has broken, come and debate with me!) Wonderful put down – I wish I had thought of it, and I’ve put it in my Filofax for future reference! Loud bangs heard when the Exit Poll was published from Miserable Tories (a necessary prerequisite to BE a Tory, I understand) when their jaws hit the floor. My sources inform me that the cruel truth was delivered to one of the Tory candidates in the Car Park as he arrived, the news being delivered in a kindly manner and with love by a UKIP member. Our well-loved City Mayor was seen many times surveying the scene from on height (well he is a big man – and he doesn’t wear risers in his shoes) gliding mayorally, if not regally, around the Counting Hall with his accompanying sycophantic acolytes, none of whom would carry his badge of office – his non-complementary but probably complimentary Association of Labour Councillors canvas shoulder bag! And then…DRAMA in the Candidates, Guests etc Refreshments area (where they tried to charge £2.20 for a coffee till put right by a council official who told the staff that hot drinks and water were to be put on the Council Tab (I wonder how much THAT will cost cash-strapped Salford Council? Diary Note: Expect further cuts!!), two very strapping butch manly Policemen came in and spoke to an elderly gentleman sporting a Labour sticker, then taking him to a side room. My sources tell me that the elderly gentleman – a former Councillor they thell me – had been extremely rude to a Parliamentary Candidate in front of Council and Security door staff who I understand, but cannot confirm or verify, reported the incident to the Police; I hope that Labour will take this matter seriously, him bringing the Party into disrepute and issue a public apology to the said candidate! It does not reflect well on our broad church. The evening progressed, and whilst imbibing at the main entrance on a cigarette (yes, dears, I KNOW they are bad for my health but at 92 who cares!!) a vision of loveliness, beauty and conviction-politics appeared before my eyes – it was RBL. It thought that she was floating on air but then realised as she approached, she was wearing the most-ever Devine shoes – high heeled, well-crafted and sufficiently tasteful amount of diamante. The Counting hall greeted her with an hushed reverence and heard her acceptance speech which ranks, in my opinion with Elizabeth I’s Tilbury Speech or Golden Speech! I assumed she had hugged her Grandfather on the podium then I realised it was Chris Barnes – the Liberal Democrat/Liberal/UKIP (but never Green) candidate. It must have been a friendly goodbye as, thankfully, he has retired from Politics along with other the other members of the Gang of 3 – Mary Ferrer and Joe O Neill. BEST NEWS OF THE DAY – The Liberal Democrat Parliamentary Candidate who now sports a (wilted) Red Rose and who will probably never be given a safe Labour seat as he is regarded as the best Labour leafletter in Weaste and Seedley did NOT take out his false teeth in front of a Parliamentary Candidate, Council Candidate and two Agents as he did in 2015 at the exit to the AJ Bell Stadium! Well done RLB – we’ll catch up at the next General Election this November. PS – What unrepeatable gossip and information one acquires at Counts!! But they are in my diary!!!