DAVID Davis was forced to surrender his trousers during the first day of Brexit talks, it has been confirmed.
After a day of tense negotiations in Brussels, the Brexit Secretary also signed over his house and his car in exchange for an adjustable chair and a glass of tap water.
Davis said: “At one point I handed over the key card to my hotel room. Not entirely sure how that happened, truth be told.
“I anticipate round two being much better after a good night’s sleep on a bench.”
Talks began with an exchange of gifts between Davis and the EU chief negotiator, with Davis presenting Michel Barnier with a book on mountaineering and Barnier giving Davis a massive wedgie.
It its understood Davis lost the upper hand when the German negotiator stole his pen and refused to give it back until he performed the macarena in his underpants for a full five minutes.